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Re-Entering Life: Building Again with Wisdom

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September 15th marked a turning point in my life. My mother left this earthly realm and entered into eternity to be with our Heavenly Father. It is a great loss for us but gain for her! - Philippians 1:21. I trust in the sovereignty of God. Mom trusted in the Lord with all of her heart. She leaned on God and not on her own understanding; having no doubt that He would direct her path - Proverbs 3:5-7.


For two months, I unplugged from everything to be present for her, to care, to pray, to honor, to serve her. It was an honor to do so. Now that the season has ended, I found myself asking, How do I pick up where I left off?


The truth is, I can’t! You don’t simply “pick up.” You re-enter. I must gracefully re-enter life with new eyes, a purged heart, and soul that has now been stretched by this experience, the present grief and loss, grace I now walk in.


This morning in my time with the Lord, I read Proverbs 9, where wisdom is described as having built her house on seven pillars. It spoke to me deeply. Wisdom doesn’t build hastily or randomly. Wisdom is intentional! Wisdom has structure and strength.


As I returned to Dayton, I paused to take time to rest, sleep, cry, drink coffee, take long walks, reflect, process, wear pjs all day, refuel on water, and sip hot tea. My daughter, LaJoya, gifted me with a massage.


I’m leaning not to my understanding but asking God to lead me. With the new mantle I know and feel Mom passed to me, I’m re-entering my home, into Dominion, my ministry, Curated Spaces - Sunday Mornings with Pamela Cone, writing, and my role at Essential Provisions. I’m depending on wisdom to guide me as I rebuild.


My heart is telling me to be patient and kind to myself. Grief doesn’t run on a schedule. Some days, energy and clarity will flow. On other moments and days, the anxiety is so great! This reminds me to pause and breathe. And when the tears come, I let them freely fall.


I'm also trusting those things I've learned to be true. One is the practice of gratitude. Gratitude is a practice that gives a different perspective and centers us back to God’s goodness and mercy. I thank God for the gift of being present to serve my mother. I’m so grateful for the honor of preaching her eulogy. It is the proudest moment of my ministry!

I’m also grateful that my life is not disjointed. Family, home, ministry, Dominion, Curated Spaces, Essential Provisions, and community are all connected to who I am and the gifts and anointing God has given me. I’m the same in every space. I’m seeking God for wisdom to continue.


Reflecting on Proverbs 9 I realize God is inviting me to partake of wisdom’s table to not only resume life as before but to even seek greater as I pray for clarity, resting in Him and His grace.


As I grieve out loud, I pray my reflections are helpful to someone. I don’t have a blueprint, but I don’t have to have one of my own. I trust, having no doubt, in Who I know is guiding me. He has provided us the Blueprint, and that's His Word. And as Mom would say, “He has never let me down!”



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